最有意思的100条名言
最有意思的100条名言(精心推荐)
2008-10-17 13:22
我觉得最好笑的是---谎言都绕半个地球了，真相还没穿好衣服呢。还有-----油价太贵了，因此我决定骑个墨西哥人上班
阿尔伯特.爱因斯坦名言
1. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
1．妨碍我学习的唯一障碍就是我的教育。
2. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
2．当数学原理用于现实时，是不确定的，当它们确定时，又不适用于现实。
3. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
3．常识就是人在十八岁之前形成的各种偏见。
4. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
4．原子能的释放并没有造成一个新问题，它只是使解决一个当前问题的必要性更加迫切。
5. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
5．如果你决心讲述真相，就把体面留给裁缝。
6. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
6．我不知道第三次世界大战会用什么武器，但我确定第四次世界大战用的武器会是棍子和石头。
弗里德里希.尼采名言
7. In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.
7.胡话一开始也就是胡话，但这些胡话是和上帝有关的，所以最后胡话也就成了上帝。
8. A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
8.在精神病院随便走走表明信仰什么都不是。
9. Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
9.啊，女人，你使高尚者更高尚，也能创造更多卑微者。
10. Is man one of God’s blunders? Or is God one of man’s blunders?
10．人类是上帝犯的一个错误，还是上帝是人类犯的一个错误。
11. Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
11．许多人在追求他们选择的道路时固执，却很少在追求目标时固执。
马克.吐温名言
12. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
12．阅读保健类书籍时要小心，你可能死于错误印刷。
13. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
13．别到处跟人抱怨这个世界欠你什么，这个世界什么都不欠你的。
14. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
14．我从不参加葬礼，但我会写封亲切的信表明我是赞成葬礼的。
15. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
15．我从来没让上学影响我的教育。
16. The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
16．不读好书的人与那些读不懂他们的人相比，没有什么好得意的。
17. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
17．为什么你坐在那儿，看上去就像一个没写地址的邮封？
伏尔泰名言
18. Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
18．偏见是愚者思考的方式。
19. If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
19．就算世界上没有上帝，那也有必要创造一个。
20. Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.
20．每个人都为他不能行的善而心怀愧疚。
21. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
21．雪崩时没有一片雪花会有负罪感。
22. The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
22．理智真正的伟大之处在于它帮助我们与没有理智的人相处。
23. It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.
23．将愚人从他们所敬拜的锁链下解放出来是非常困难的。
24. There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.
24．有些人的思考只停留在表面。
25. Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
25．如果有人能使你相信荒唐的事，那他也有能力使你犯下罪恶与不公的错误。
26. Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
26．说出来愚蠢的话，唱出来就不一样了。
27. By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
27．通过赞美，别人身上的优点就成为了自己的财富。
28. Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.
28．政府既需要牧羊人也需要屠夫。
伯拉图名言
29. One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
29．不参政的后果就是被不如你的人统治。
30. No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern.
30．老师教不好想当老师的人，统治者统治不好想当统治者的人。
31. This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
31．罗马城之所以是这样的罗马城是因为市民就是这样的市民。
32. Courage knows what not to fear.
32．所谓勇气就是知道不畏惧什么。
33. The measure of a man is what he does with power.
33．衡量一个人，就是看他在拥有权力时的所作所为。
温斯顿.丘吉尔名言
34. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
34．谎言都绕了半个地球了，真相还没穿好衣服呢。
35. If you are going through hell, keep going.
35．如果你正在经历炼狱，那就继续吧。
36. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
36．对民主最好的反驳就是和普通选民交谈五分钟。
37. It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
37．有人说民主是最糟糕的政府组织形式，除了其他曾出现过的。
乔治.卡林名言
38. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
38．想想看，普通人多愚蠢，可还有一半人更愚蠢。
39. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
39．房子只是一个在你外出时储藏你现有的东西的地方，然后你可以带更多的东西回来。
40. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man?living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
40．宗教使人们相信在天上有一个我们看不见的人，他每时每刻都观察着你所作的一切，而这个我们看不见的人有十件不希望我们做的事，如果你做了，他就会把你送到某个地方，哪里到处是炙人的火和烟，还有你要永远忍受的痛苦和折磨，这些痛苦、烈焰和惨叫会持续到时间的尽头。但是，他是爱你的，而且他需要钱。
41. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
41．你知道得克萨斯州的那些判决最大的影响是什么吗？那里人更少了。
42. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
42. 这让我想起了我三年级老师跟我说的话，她说：“你给我看一个热带水果，我就给你看一个危地马拉口交者。”
43. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
43. 我没上过十岁的，我有一晚上用五乘以了二。.
44. What year did Jesus think it was?
44. 上帝啊，你以为这是个什么年代？
45. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
45. 我们不能把十戒贴在法院的真正原因是：你不能让“不可偷窃”、“不可通奸”、“不可说谎”这样的字眼出现在一个满是律师、法官、政客的地方，这样会创造不利的工作环境。
46. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
46．无神论就是不做预言的体制。
47. “No comment” is a comment.
47．“无可奉告”就是一条奉告。
48. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
48．如果一个人一直都面带微笑，那他很可能是在推销不能用的东西。
49. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
49．为什么我们说“美国梦”，你得先睡着才能相信。
史蒂夫.马丁名言
50. Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!
50．伙计，你瞧法语，每样东西都有不同的词表示。
51. There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
51．只有一件事能让我离婚，那就是我和其他女人在一起的时候被妻子逮个正着。这是我不能忍受的。
52. Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It’s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
52．主持奥斯卡颁奖礼就像和一个女人做爱，比尔.克里斯托不在的时候才能实现。
53. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
53．我相信，性是美好的、自然的、健康的，而且是钱能买来的。
54. You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies - all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.
54．你知道你的问题出在哪儿吗？你看得电影不够多，生活中的所有困惑都能在电影里找到答案。
55. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
55．医生先是告诉我有一个好消息：有一种疾病将以我的名字命名。
56. Why is it we don’t always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
* As Harris K. Telemacher in “L.A. Story” (1991)
56．为什么我们总是意识不到爱情何时开始，却总是知道何时结束？
* 就像《L.A 故事》中的哈里斯.K.特勒马西（1991）
史蒂文.科比尔名言
57. “To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush? I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I’m a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough? Somebody shoot me in the face.”
-Roasting Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ dinner
57．“和我的偶像乔治.布什共进晚餐吗？我会感觉像是在做梦。有人会掐我，但是你知道吗。这可不够，我的梦可不容易醒，得有人在我头上狠狠敲一下。”
58. On this show, your voice will be heard - in the form of my voice.
58．在这个节目里你的声音将被传达，当然了，是用我的声音。
59. There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
59．在美国人们常说这样一句话：“我们将一切交给上帝”，这正是上帝想要的：我们的钱。
60. Folks, the President needs a break. He’s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can’t suck.
60．伙计们，我们的总统需要休息一下，就像百德公司的吸污天使牌无绳吸尘器，你不给他充电就没法吸脏东西了。
61. I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
61．我对美女总是趋之若鹜。自然，看人就像看书，不能从封皮判断好坏，可是谁会想跟书做爱。
62. Now, I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir”.
62．我眼睛分辨不出肤色。人们说我是白人，我信。因为警察尊称我“先生”。
63. Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.
63．“亚洲”这个词英语有四个字母，却拥有三十亿人。
64. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.”
64．是同性恋本身没什么错，但我有很多朋友不太好过。
65. Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.
65．上帝宽恕罪人，可不宽恕罪犯。
乔.斯图亚特名言
66. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
66．我按照传统过感恩节。我把我的邻居都请到家里，我们大大美餐了一顿，然后我把他们都杀了，把他们的土地抢了过来。
67. Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
67．失眠是我最大的灵感来源。
68. We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem - it’s in North Korea.
68．犯罪证据，有的，非常确凿，可能利用的大规模杀伤性武器，我们一直在寻找，以便用作侵略伊拉克的借口。不过，只有一个问题，它现在北朝鲜。
69. We declared war on terror-it’s not even a noun, so, good luck.
69．我们向恐怖主义宣战
2008-10-17 13:22
我觉得最好笑的是---谎言都绕半个地球了，真相还没穿好衣服呢。还有-----油价太贵了，因此我决定骑个墨西哥人上班
阿尔伯特.爱因斯坦名言
1. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
1．妨碍我学习的唯一障碍就是我的教育。
2. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
2．当数学原理用于现实时，是不确定的，当它们确定时，又不适用于现实。
3. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
3．常识就是人在十八岁之前形成的各种偏见。
4. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
4．原子能的释放并没有造成一个新问题，它只是使解决一个当前问题的必要性更加迫切。
5. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
5．如果你决心讲述真相，就把体面留给裁缝。
6. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
6．我不知道第三次世界大战会用什么武器，但我确定第四次世界大战用的武器会是棍子和石头。
弗里德里希.尼采名言
7. In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.
7.胡话一开始也就是胡话，但这些胡话是和上帝有关的，所以最后胡话也就成了上帝。
8. A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
8.在精神病院随便走走表明信仰什么都不是。
9. Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
9.啊，女人，你使高尚者更高尚，也能创造更多卑微者。
10. Is man one of God’s blunders? Or is God one of man’s blunders?
10．人类是上帝犯的一个错误，还是上帝是人类犯的一个错误。
11. Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
11．许多人在追求他们选择的道路时固执，却很少在追求目标时固执。
马克.吐温名言
12. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
12．阅读保健类书籍时要小心，你可能死于错误印刷。
13. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
13．别到处跟人抱怨这个世界欠你什么，这个世界什么都不欠你的。
14. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
14．我从不参加葬礼，但我会写封亲切的信表明我是赞成葬礼的。
15. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
15．我从来没让上学影响我的教育。
16. The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
16．不读好书的人与那些读不懂他们的人相比，没有什么好得意的。
17. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
17．为什么你坐在那儿，看上去就像一个没写地址的邮封？
伏尔泰名言
18. Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
18．偏见是愚者思考的方式。
19. If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
19．就算世界上没有上帝，那也有必要创造一个。
20. Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.
20．每个人都为他不能行的善而心怀愧疚。
21. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
21．雪崩时没有一片雪花会有负罪感。
22. The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
22．理智真正的伟大之处在于它帮助我们与没有理智的人相处。
23. It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.
23．将愚人从他们所敬拜的锁链下解放出来是非常困难的。
24. There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.
24．有些人的思考只停留在表面。
25. Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
25．如果有人能使你相信荒唐的事，那他也有能力使你犯下罪恶与不公的错误。
26. Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
26．说出来愚蠢的话，唱出来就不一样了。
27. By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
27．通过赞美，别人身上的优点就成为了自己的财富。
28. Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.
28．政府既需要牧羊人也需要屠夫。
伯拉图名言
29. One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
29．不参政的后果就是被不如你的人统治。
30. No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern.
30．老师教不好想当老师的人，统治者统治不好想当统治者的人。
31. This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
31．罗马城之所以是这样的罗马城是因为市民就是这样的市民。
32. Courage knows what not to fear.
32．所谓勇气就是知道不畏惧什么。
33. The measure of a man is what he does with power.
33．衡量一个人，就是看他在拥有权力时的所作所为。
温斯顿.丘吉尔名言
34. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
34．谎言都绕了半个地球了，真相还没穿好衣服呢。
35. If you are going through hell, keep going.
35．如果你正在经历炼狱，那就继续吧。
36. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
36．对民主最好的反驳就是和普通选民交谈五分钟。
37. It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
37．有人说民主是最糟糕的政府组织形式，除了其他曾出现过的。
乔治.卡林名言
38. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
38．想想看，普通人多愚蠢，可还有一半人更愚蠢。
39. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
39．房子只是一个在你外出时储藏你现有的东西的地方，然后你可以带更多的东西回来。
40. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man?living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
40．宗教使人们相信在天上有一个我们看不见的人，他每时每刻都观察着你所作的一切，而这个我们看不见的人有十件不希望我们做的事，如果你做了，他就会把你送到某个地方，哪里到处是炙人的火和烟，还有你要永远忍受的痛苦和折磨，这些痛苦、烈焰和惨叫会持续到时间的尽头。但是，他是爱你的，而且他需要钱。
41. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
41．你知道得克萨斯州的那些判决最大的影响是什么吗？那里人更少了。
42. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
42. 这让我想起了我三年级老师跟我说的话，她说：“你给我看一个热带水果，我就给你看一个危地马拉口交者。”
43. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
43. 我没上过十岁的，我有一晚上用五乘以了二。.
44. What year did Jesus think it was?
44. 上帝啊，你以为这是个什么年代？
45. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
45. 我们不能把十戒贴在法院的真正原因是：你不能让“不可偷窃”、“不可通奸”、“不可说谎”这样的字眼出现在一个满是律师、法官、政客的地方，这样会创造不利的工作环境。
46. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
46．无神论就是不做预言的体制。
47. “No comment” is a comment.
47．“无可奉告”就是一条奉告。
48. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
48．如果一个人一直都面带微笑，那他很可能是在推销不能用的东西。
49. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
49．为什么我们说“美国梦”，你得先睡着才能相信。
史蒂夫.马丁名言
50. Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!
50．伙计，你瞧法语，每样东西都有不同的词表示。
51. There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
51．只有一件事能让我离婚，那就是我和其他女人在一起的时候被妻子逮个正着。这是我不能忍受的。
52. Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It’s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
52．主持奥斯卡颁奖礼就像和一个女人做爱，比尔.克里斯托不在的时候才能实现。
53. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
53．我相信，性是美好的、自然的、健康的，而且是钱能买来的。
54. You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies - all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.
54．你知道你的问题出在哪儿吗？你看得电影不够多，生活中的所有困惑都能在电影里找到答案。
55. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
55．医生先是告诉我有一个好消息：有一种疾病将以我的名字命名。
56. Why is it we don’t always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
* As Harris K. Telemacher in “L.A. Story” (1991)
56．为什么我们总是意识不到爱情何时开始，却总是知道何时结束？
* 就像《L.A 故事》中的哈里斯.K.特勒马西（1991）
史蒂文.科比尔名言
57. “To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush? I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I’m a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough? Somebody shoot me in the face.”
-Roasting Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ dinner
57．“和我的偶像乔治.布什共进晚餐吗？我会感觉像是在做梦。有人会掐我，但是你知道吗。这可不够，我的梦可不容易醒，得有人在我头上狠狠敲一下。”
58. On this show, your voice will be heard - in the form of my voice.
58．在这个节目里你的声音将被传达，当然了，是用我的声音。
59. There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
59．在美国人们常说这样一句话：“我们将一切交给上帝”，这正是上帝想要的：我们的钱。
60. Folks, the President needs a break. He’s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can’t suck.
60．伙计们，我们的总统需要休息一下，就像百德公司的吸污天使牌无绳吸尘器，你不给他充电就没法吸脏东西了。
61. I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
61．我对美女总是趋之若鹜。自然，看人就像看书，不能从封皮判断好坏，可是谁会想跟书做爱。
62. Now, I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir”.
62．我眼睛分辨不出肤色。人们说我是白人，我信。因为警察尊称我“先生”。
63. Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.
63．“亚洲”这个词英语有四个字母，却拥有三十亿人。
64. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.”
64．是同性恋本身没什么错，但我有很多朋友不太好过。
65. Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.
65．上帝宽恕罪人，可不宽恕罪犯。
乔.斯图亚特名言
66. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
66．我按照传统过感恩节。我把我的邻居都请到家里，我们大大美餐了一顿，然后我把他们都杀了，把他们的土地抢了过来。
67. Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
67．失眠是我最大的灵感来源。
68. We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem - it’s in North Korea.
68．犯罪证据，有的，非常确凿，可能利用的大规模杀伤性武器，我们一直在寻找，以便用作侵略伊拉克的借口。不过，只有一个问题，它现在北朝鲜。
69. We declared war on terror-it’s not even a noun, so, good luck.
69．我们向恐怖主义宣战
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